Dear DM Sliders & Timeline Floodees

I do not follow people simply because they follow me on social media. I follow people because I love what they post, I am comfortable with what they post, and it agrees with my values. If your social media life contradicts all that I have stated above, excuse you!

Since the internet has become more accessible, it is now a consistent event for strangers/friends to give/get unsolicited attention in very awkward and distasteful ways on social media.

Let start with the greetings. Here is an example;
"Gud mrn..."
Stop chewing your alphabets especially if it will take the same amount of words or less to write something better. For example, you can type "Hi" instead.

The body of the message.
This is the part that I'll love to call: "I'm reclaiming my time" in honor of Maxine Waters
If you have something really tangible and reasonable to ask for, please just go straight to the damn point! Some people spend 3 days, 4 hours, 10 minutes and 1 second greeting the recipient of the message, when they could just spend a minute to ask for what they need. Now I have lost interest in chatting with you before you even say what you want. I totally admire people who are succinct and straight forward with their messages and intentions.

Conclusion: Social media is karma's best friend...
As much as you can, desist from insulting people on social media platforms. When you send messages on social media, try to end on good notes and write in such a way that you would not mind a third party seeing the messages. 

Commenting and feedback:
1. Please catch your feelings elsewhere, just not in my comment sections. I like opinions and feedback, just don't fight with someone in my comment section or insult someone. 

2. A big shout out to all the friends who have my phone number yet still feel the need to write what they should have sent as a private text message in my comment box on social media. Thank you for the advertisement of our friendship at the risk of a "blockaship." 

3. Typing "Kindly follow back" in the comment section: When you follow me on social media, I SEE YOU, OKAY! I SEE YOU! I do not follow people simply because they follow me on social media. I follow people because I love what they post, I am comfortable with what they post, and it agrees with my values. If your social media life contradicts all that I have stated above, excuse you!

4. Advertising your products on other people's comment section: I've got two words for you "cheap cheap!" Just kidding, but seriously, its annoying. If you want to advertise your products, there is something called paid advertisement on most, if not all social media platforms. Please use that instead.

Other things that turn me off on social media which I admit, are none of my business:
1. The handles: "itsmesexymamadaddygirl" Really? Why? What is your name again?

2. Posting one picture ten times: Are there ten of you or is it just you reappearing ten times?

3. Infectious Relationship Status Syndrome: You can write a biography or autobiography simply based on what some people post on social media. Especially folks going through a break up, please don't transfer your sadness! See a shrink, that is what they are there for. If you are in a relationship, great! We are happy for you, just in case you forgot, SINGLE PEOPLE LIKE TO BREATHE TOO! 

4. "I am plus one today": Please, please, and please, if you will tell us your age, just say it and walk away. Or better, just say "It's My Birthday" rather than arousing our sensitively curious mind to know how old/young you really are.

You are welcome.

Sincerely,
You know my name already.