Why Being Skinny is Not a Compliment to Me

The worst part of being thin is that you become people's Reacher (I just invented the word). Have you ever heard anyone say that "who is the skinny person whose hand can fit through this window to remove the key from the other side?" Or “she is skinny, she doesn't need that much space." 😏Yes, I do! Maybe to fart, at least give me some damn personal space.

If you see how the wind blows me mercilessly sometimes😩, you will understand my plight when I say I want to add a little more weight. You will almost mistake me for an air dancer (that thing that dances in front of the car wash).
It is not a compliment when people say; "that's why you are skinny." I started my weight journey of eating like a buffalo around November. So, I refused to check my weight until this January and guess how much I added... Just 3.5kg and a little pot belly.

I used to love being thin but having to eat so much and not see significant progress can be frustrating. I just like to shut-up when I meet people who aspire and plan to be skinny like it is a life-time achievement. Apart from the well-known “trying to fit societal standards,” nobody ever openly acknowledges the consequences of being skinny (sipping sliming tea with a side eye😒). It's annoying when you visit a Chinese buffet and you cannot eat your money's worth because your stomach cannot contain it all. If I know that I am eating at a buffet at 6:00pm, I won't eat from 6:00am that day just to save as much space in my stomach. 

Skinny girls understand how annoying it is when I say the cup of the bra fits but the band is loose (dangling like a group of palmwine drinkers). God bless you If you have good sewing skills. Still on that matter, bless my heart if I forget to wear belt on that pair of jeans when I am leaving the house, my little pot belly is my back up plan aka undercover 911. 

I am not careless but Lord knows how many things I have misplaced because I am skinny. Those beautiful bracelets, and rings that keep slipping off our fingers because they are untackable (can't be slim-fitted). Thank goodness for shoe fillers and socks, how they uplifted those skinny feet in the times of sinking. And the pictures! Oh my gosh!😤 Is it only me that notices how much space there is in the background. I am there looking like a lost center aligned pankere (cane) on a new word page😩. 

While minding everyone's business on social media, when I see some advertisements of waist-trainers or girdles with their sizes (0,2,4), it makes me wonder “Beht (but) why would someone be this size skinny and still want to wear waist trainer?😐” Another annoying thing is going to a store only to see that the pretty dress I want to buy is just one size larger. (Shout out to you if you spend so much money and time at the tailor’s place, slim-fitting). At the end of the day, it might still look like they threw someone inside a sack, especially with those hats. They make me think of mushrooms for no special reason (tongue in cheek for some chur... [clears throat] reasons).

The worst part of being thin is that you become people's Reacher (I just invented the word). Have you ever heard anyone say that "who is the skinny person whose hand can fit through this window to remove the key from the other side?" Or “she is skinny, she doesn't need that much space." 😏Yes, I do! Maybe to fart, at least give me some damn personal space.

Let's talk about nicknames. I have earned notable ones like Alapa-stainless (stainless arm), Apa-ibo (ibo arm), Inu fele tebi ko (light stomach, it's not hunger), Chinko (Fake product), Ijapa (Tortoise - that's what someone said I looked like because of my big school bag) and I have not forgiven you yet, Ope😏. I earned Apa-ibo when I was learning how to cook Amala and could not turn it well. People like us are pulled by the pestle when pounding yam and so we don't bother learning those skills. 

FACT 101 (Random number): Some of us are not just tall enough for our skinny to be financially lucrative. Our heights are what you will call useful or just perfect (for cute relationships and 6ft tall dudes😍) or else we would have hope of becoming models for Calvin Klein😒. 
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Last but not the least, dancing skills. I'll pass and roll my eyes on this one😑 (Simply put: no twerking zone🚫 for some people). Please bear with us if our tails are just not skillfully cooperative in those areas. 

Thanks for not losing your attention span on the analysis of my body’s width.