Over the past three years, I have enjoyed coming here to share my views and rants to beloved readers, some who even became close friends. In the process of pursuing this aspiration, I have also enthusiastically participated in many other things that would take me ages to share and narrate.
I am growing and at this point defining my interests - choosing what is urgent, relevant, and essential. Therefore, after several thoughts, I am closing this blog and will not be publishing new posts here. All previous posts will remain accessible on the website.
I am currently pursuing other opportunities - academically and career-wise which isn't giving me time or leaving sufficient energy to commit to blogging. Moving forward from this will allow me to engage better in what lies ahead which I am equally passionate about. I will be rounding off my undergraduate education at New York University (NYU) then resuming a Master’s Degree program hopefully, expanding the non-profit organization I co-founded named SprinNG, and pursuing more long-term commitment and projects that are career-related.
Follow me on social media - LinkedIn and Instagram especially to see what's going on with me. Feel free to send an email if you have any questions or messages you'd like to share and I will respond as soon as possible.
Thanks for camping here with me and I hope that you were entertained.
The lack of knowledge can make me a slave to many things and people even in terms of service. This is not to say that I will know everything and forever do everything by myself but I think I would like to know at least a little bit about everything. I don’t have to swim but I’d like to dip my feet into the water and play with it. Initially, I was forced to learn because I was broke and stubbornly independent but most recently, I have just seen all blockages as a realization of lacking some knowledge and opportunity to know something new.
Thanks to Dave Ramsey, I found that although I am not the type to impress a male by wearing make up or dressing fancy, if someone I find attractive asks me to read a book about money, I don't care if it is bigger than Tomi Adeyemi's Children of Blood and Bone, I am reading it!
Sometimes, I could be a serial goal non-achiever, and honestly, it isn't something I am ashamed of. At the beginning of every year, I set goals because “that’s what I am supposed to do” and because “everybody is doing it” – but at the end of the year, chances are that I wouldn’t have achieved up to a quarter of the things on the list. I pretend that maybe it is something I did wrong that led to such outcome – perhaps I didn’t pray hard enough or make enough effort towards achieving such goals, or maybe I set the wrong goals. I also pretend that next year January, I will do the same damn thing and miraculously, achieve all the things on my list. I even go the extra mile of making excuses for God, such as that “it is not God’s timing for me” or that “God has better plans for me” to feel better about the goals I wrote down and failed to achieve.
Just because you start your sentence with “as a victim of … (insert unfortunate instances)” doesn’t give you so much right of opinion over someone who isn’t a victim of what you have suffered or who you disagree with on a topic that relates to your experience of victimization. Many people need to be taught how to learn and how to be educated. Many people also need to learn that victimization doesn’t equal expertise, education does, and true education isn’t just about what you agree with or what is familiar to you or convenient for your senses. True education is well rounded. There are many people who are victims of experiences they haven’t been educated about.
I haven't arrived at all my conclusions of unlearning the typical and common feminism I absorbed out of my anger against sexism, but I keep observing. I keep asking questions and questioning myself. I keep listening, even to understand perspectives I don't agree with, and I also give myself opportunity to disagree with some of my concrete beliefs and values. This is not to say that feminism is bad or that it hasn't been effective to some extent. I am just at the point whereby I have reached a climax with it and wish to descend from my defensive high horse to see a new perspective.
Many new generalized wedding practices were originally European ideas that we acculturated, for example the white puffy dresses and church weddings. Christianity, to Africans was a European suggestion and in some way, coercion. So, I find it ridiculous to believe that a wedding ceremony independent of practices which weren’t initially our culture or way of life isn’t good enough.
I think many adults can do better in their relations with youth. I think many adults need to learn that “You do not have to make us feel bad or feel ashamed about something for us to be motivated to change it.” I also think that if adults wouldn’t treat each other disrespectfully, then they shouldn’t treat younger people likewise.
I have learned to free myself from the need to follow someone because they followed me even if the person is more socially relevant than I am. I refuse to follow people on social media simply because I am obligated to them in one way or another in real life. I free myself of feeling guilty for not supporting someone on social media if I don't feel up to it. I free myself from following people on social media simply because they are my family, church members, old school friends, etc.
PS. Read this post aloud for full effect. You might crack up with laughter in between but continue reading...
Fat! It weighs heavy in my mouth like the additional slices of crackers with gently laid cream cheese, and jam I swallow at 2:03 am, after promising that the previous and the previous would be my last piece.
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© Oyindamola Shoola 2020