In one of my angry feminist rants that I wrote about two years ago, I stated that equality is an insult to who I can be and what I can do as a woman. As a feminist, I don't want equality, I want to be the best that I can be as an individual and as a woman, I want to do what I have the ability to do, and do it well. I don't want to be rich because men are rich. If I want to be a rich woman, it is because I want to be rich, period.
It is very vague to say "we want equality" as if men are equal themselves. Feminism is making us blind to men's sufferings and the truth is that men need us too, especially black men and Latino men who face racial injustices every day.
And are we even equal as women? We suffer even among ourselves under this category of "women."
More so, if everyone could have everything equally, there would be nothing more to strive for.
And really, do all women who deserve this so called equality that feminism wants for us?
One of my professors asked that, if women had the power that men had, won't be just be as bad?
(Permit me, I am just ranting with the rhetorical questions...)
Furthermore, there is this assumption that comes with feminism. The assumption that all women want to be bosses and lead, all girls aspire to have it good and want to pay bills when they get married. For goodness sake, some women want to be full time housewives! Even if this world becomes this fictitious feminist imagination, I would still love cooking and cleaning the house as much as I do now, because it is essential to healthy living. If another woman sees marriage as an achievement and aspires to it by her own free will, then so be it. As feminists we can try to progress collectively, but our feminism must respect every woman's personal desire.
Recently, I watched a video of a woman insulting (some will call it advising) females who are full time housewives, stating that they are failures because of it. It was hard for me to buy into that idea and even harder for me to feel any form of empowerment from her statements. I was more disgusted and I said to myself that if women keep disrespecting, insulting, and diminishing other women like this, will it make it easier for men to do the same to us? If a woman reasonably chooses to be a housewife then, my role as s feminist will be to support her choice.
I was also discussing with my sister about this "King female" or "King women" title. I have also seen pictures of women wearing suit and acting as the "best man" at weddings to portray this idea of feminism and that we can do what men can do... I don't find that inspiring or empowering because if we reverse the case and men start calling themselves "Queen men," or "Queen boys," or men start wearing gowns or skirts and blouse to act like the best lady at a wedding ceremony, it will be a comic show.
When are we going to give men something to aspire to as well? If we don't take pride in certain things that we have as women, how can we become the standard that men want to compare themselves to?
I don't want to be like a man or do something like a man does it before the whole world thinks that it is good enough! As a woman and a feminist, I want to do it like a woman does it and make it good enough. I want that "queen" title, that color pink, that like a girl and make it good enough!
There is a lot of mess to clean in this feminism of a thing and there is need for more clarity to be made...
And more women need to understand that our sadness, or injustice or "inequality" is not the whole of feminism. There is happiness, fun, good, privilege, lipstick, humor, and sass in feminism and we need to appreciate that as well.