Many people that I work with know that, sometimes, I tend to take on a lot of work and responsibilities. To be honest, this tendency comes with a lot of emotions which includes, anger, frustration, and so much more. If you wish to have a sense of how much stuff I do, read my bio or visit my LinkedIn page. Here are tips to how I have been able manage my emotions successfully.
1. I am honest with myself: When I feel a certain way concerning a situation, or a person, or thing, I do not sugarcoat my emotions. I think that the earlier I am honest about how I feel, the easier it is for me to fix the situation, and to move on to something else. For example, if I feel angry towards someone, I say how I feel to myself, and then, to the person that I feel angry at (only if necessary or if I think the person is worth speaking to). I also seek ways to fix the situation.
2. I use words to contain my feelings: I like to be specific with words that describe emotions. Containing my feelings with words helps me to identify solutions. For example, when I say; I feel nervous, I can immediately identify that, the opposite of feeling nervous is feeling calm. At that moment, I change my focus to how I can become calm.
3. I do not confuse how I feel with who I am: The only exception to this rule is when my feelings are positive. If I feel stupid about something that I have done, I refrain from concluding that "I am stupid" because "I feel stupid."
4. I watch a lot of comedy shows: On the days when I feel very unmotivated to do anything, I put aside all my plans and to-do list, and I watch comedy shows for about 2 to 3 hours. This may sound ridiculous but it goes a long way to brighten my day.
5. I acknowledge that emotions are part of our humanity: Sometimes, I think that the way some people exhibit religiosity excludes our humanity. Emotions are part of our humanity, so don't blame the devil when you feel a certain way. I remember a time, when I and 4 of my friends had applied for a scholarship, I did not get past the first round and they did and I felt jealous. I informed my sister about how I felt and I turned it into a joke. I told her that "losing feels good, when a person losses with a group of people." I also mentioned how misery loves company and then, I went further to pray for my friends that God will grant them the favor to get the scholarship. I don't think that I would have been able to pray for my friends success if I had not admitted my feelings of jealousy.
6. I let people earn the right to know my feelings: I once saw a sticker on the bumper of a car that said "Go on your knees and pray. Jesus is easier to talk to than some people." It is funny but it is the truth. If I am confiding in someone about how I feel, I am confiding in them for the following reasons;
- they will listen to me
- they respect the confidentiality
- they are not caught up in my emotions and they can make reasonable decisions for me and than me, at that moment
- they will not seize the opportunity to compare their own misery or success with mine, depending on the situation
- they will correct me and not judge me
- they will not assume that I am all that I feel and express to them at that moment
- they will not be disappointed in me, they will push me forward because they know I have the ability to do and be better
- they will not leave me because of how I feel
7. I surround myself with positive people: There is this saying that "you are the average of the 5 people that you surround yourself with, the most." I keep myself in the click of happy people because I want to be happy.
I hope that you find these tips useful.
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