Many people that I work with know that, sometimes, I tend to take on a lot of work and responsibilities. To be honest, this tendency comes with a lot of emotions which includes, anger, frustration, and so much more. If you wish to have a sense of how much stuff I do, read my bio or visit my LinkedIn page. Here are tips to how I have been able manage my emotions successfully.
1. I am honest with myself: When I feel a certain way concerning a situation, or a person, or thing, I do not sugarcoat my emotions. I think that the earlier I am honest about how I feel, the easier it is for me to fix the situation, and to move on to something else. For example, if I feel angry towards someone, I say how I feel to myself, and then, to the person that I feel angry at (only if necessary or if I think the person is worth speaking to). I also seek ways to fix the situation.
2. I use words to contain my feelings: I like to be specific with words that describe emotions. Containing my feelings with words helps me to identify solutions. For example, when I say; I feel nervous, I can immediately identify that, the opposite of feeling nervous is feeling calm. At that moment, I change my focus to how I can become calm.
3. I do not confuse how I feel with who I am: The only exception to this rule is when my feelings are positive. If I feel stupid about something that I have done, I refrain from concluding that "I am stupid" because "I feel stupid."
4. I watch a lot of comedy shows: On the days when I feel very unmotivated to do anything, I put aside all my plans and to-do list, and I watch comedy shows for about 2 to 3 hours. This may sound ridiculous but it goes a long way to brighten my day.
5. I acknowledge that emotions are part of our humanity: Sometimes, I think that the way some people exhibit religiosity excludes our humanity. Emotions are part of our humanity, so don't blame the devil when you feel a certain way. I remember a time, when I and 4 of my friends had applied for a scholarship, I did not get past the first round and they did and I felt jealous. I informed my sister about how I felt and I turned it into a joke. I told her that "losing feels good, when a person losses with a group of people." I also mentioned how misery loves company and then, I went further to pray for my friends that God will grant them the favor to get the scholarship. I don't think that I would have been able to pray for my friends success if I had not admitted my feelings of jealousy.
6. I let people earn the right to know my feelings: I once saw a sticker on the bumper of a car that said "Go on your knees and pray. Jesus is easier to talk to than some people." It is funny but it is the truth. If I am confiding in someone about how I feel, I am confiding in them for the following reasons;
- they will listen to me
- they respect the confidentiality
- they are not caught up in my emotions and they can make reasonable decisions for me and than me, at that moment
- they will not seize the opportunity to compare their own misery or success with mine, depending on the situation
- they will correct me and not judge me
- they will not assume that I am all that I feel and express to them at that moment
- they will not be disappointed in me, they will push me forward because they know I have the ability to do and be better
- they will not leave me because of how I feel
7. I surround myself with positive people: There is this saying that "you are the average of the 5 people that you surround yourself with, the most." I keep myself in the click of happy people because I want to be happy.
I hope that you find these tips useful.
Feel free to send me an email about your thoughts concerning this article.
Awarded as one of Nigeria Writer's Awards top 100 influential Nigerian Writers under the age of 40
We Rule: A Global Collective Of 500+ Entrepreneurs Collaborating And Connecting Business Opportunities And Accredited Investors
Also visit: www.sprinng.org