Fortunately, in the world where facial painting is now the norm, some of us are skillfully talented in drawing two unequal eyebrows😤. The time we have spent watching YouTube videos on how to plaster our faces is enough to earn a college degree🎓. Still we have not been delivered from looking like beautiful masquerades when we try to mimic those YouTubers.
When you see some of us without make up, it's not that we admire natural looks or aspire to be like Alicia keys. In the morning, people like me just look at the make up boxes filled with magical instruments and decide not to piss ourselves off or ruin our day before it starts😒. Often I hear some people say "make up is therapy" but special species like me need therapy from the frustration caused by doing make up. This is where that "do not fall into temptation prayer" comes to play. After jejely (carefully) drawing my eyebrows on fleek, doing my eye-shadow and eyelashes with mascara, an angel with horns 😈usually whispers, "just use eyeliner, you will get it right this time." So I fall into temptation, use the eyeliner and my shaky hand fucks up the well crafted eyebrows, eye-shadow and eyelashes😩. Now my eye area looks black as if I have been fighting with Mohammed Ali.
More so, I have never fixed faux eyelashes but is it only me that wonders😬 how people manage to wear brooms on their eyelids. Faux eyelashes full and long enough to sweep the whole Ibadan (largest city in west Africa - now you know) clean.
Also when I see the fatness of some people's eyebrows, looking like Nike logo ✅ turned upside down, I usually imagine that the excuse they give will be the low magnification ability of their mirrors (including the eyes of those that watch them leave the house looking like that). Worse still is when your eyebrows look like logs of wood or two crocodiles meeting🐊 🐊. Those are the type of people that show others fire 🌠 when they are angry because they have the neccesary equipments. At that moment, I start to okaify (normalize) my own problems and I'll say to myself "at least my own is just unequal eyebrows, we thank God."
Special shout out to those that like to play chameleons with makeup, well done ma, be looking like Kanye West today and Michael Jackson tomorrow. And you will say people don't like to approach you...like how the hell do you expect me to greet you when I cannot even identify you to one face. You don't even look like yourself on most days of the week.
Don't let's even get started with the contours and those shiny things that you put on the cheeks or fore head. People will be looking like electric bulb 💡 from afar when it's excessive.
And for the people that have the guts to comment under people's pictures on social media saying: "you don't need make up," or "it won't cover up for your low self-esteem," oh please! Make up is just like perfume. Most times if you are the neat type, you wear perfume not because you stink but because you want to enhance how you smell. Except if used excessively, make up is just to enhance people's faces.
Speaking of using makeup to cover up, some times it is true. Let's talk about beautiful face versus healthy skin. I respect people's values but I so much prefer healthy skin. Sometimes when I see people invest money into makeup to cover their scars and acne (the notorious of them all) I just want to yell "invest your money at a dermatologist" (not make up or self medication) to get healthier skin before painting it but its not my business.