...feminism is not a fashion statement or style, it is a change of mentality. You can't change your actions if you don't change the way you think about your actions!!! The progress of women in African communities especially begins with changing how we think about women, then, disowning their freedom to be as they desire.
It is hard to stand in public places especially in Africa and say "I am a feminist." If you call yourself a feminist (especially if you are a grown woman), you will hear;
"You are an angry black woman."
"No wonder you don't have husband."
"You want to be a man eh?"
"Why do you hate men?"
"Who broke your heart?"
"Every woman's education ends in the kitchen."
"Your beauty will get you a ring not education or feminism."
"I have been noticing too, she wears only trousers and she cut her hair recently…"
"All these gallivanting that you are showing, a man is stronger than you and can still beat you well."
I once heard a saying that “people will always treat you in reflection of how they feel about themselves. The moment they cannot help themselves, they try to blame their emotions on you so that you believe that you are the bad person."
Similar to these words, I think that the people who call feminists "angry black women" are sometimes angry that they no longer have control of making a woman dependent, mentally and physically on them. Some men are angry that they will lose the praise and pride that they would have gotten if a woman were to be 100% dependent on them. They feel threatened, rather than inspired to step up their games by a "successful woman." I believe that if you already feel good about your life or your achievements and you have a balanced self-esteem, you won't be negatively focusing on a woman who decides to improve herself mentally and physically.
So, to make such irrelevant inferences about African women especially who have chosen to be feminist says a lot about who we are as individuals and the mental and emotional state of men in our communities.
REMEDIES FOR AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN; AKA FEMINIST
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© Oyindamola Shoola 2020