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I am an indecisive writer, an inconsistent blogger with freckles on the face ​and so many opinions.

What's The Big Deal in Saying Sir or Ma? - Ifeoluwa Shoola

12/24/2017

 

Sometimes, I feel this "sir" "ma" gets in the way of genuine conversation. 

I'm cringing as I type this. 
This is probably not for Facebook. 
On the other hand, I really want to hear your thoughts if you are interested.
Sometimes, I feel this "sir" "ma" gets in the way of genuine conversation. 
As per being a Nigerian, you are taught from a young age to begin and/or end every statement with "sir" or "ma" as a way of showing respect to someone who is older than you. 
(Okay, not every statement, but you get the point.)

However, I have found I interact with them better, those who don't care much for this aspect of communication - Nigerians inclusive. 
Its like there is a free flow of thoughts and ideas, when I am not afraid you'd get mad at me for not addressing you "correctly", ma. 
Sir, I am not saying its wrong to desire to show respect by "ma-ing" and "sir-ing", these are just my observations. 
Alright sir, 
Yes sir. 
Okay sir.
See you later ma. 
Do you get my point ma? 
******************************
I have many senior friends that I call by name, some twice my age (I dare not try that in my village), and never for once has the thought crossed my mind to intentionally disrespect or ridicule them. 
Never. 
Again, I interact freely with them for several reasons I cannot mention here. 
Basically, it's psychological.
I am not saying that there aren't contexts in which using "sir", "ma" or "ma'am" is necessary. There are! (Also, examples of these contexts, I won't mention here).
However, I am saying that for correspondences that go on for much longer, and for deeper, lengthier, more intimate conversations, this whole fear of offending the elders really gets in the way.

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  • My Rants
    • Career
    • Love
    • Feminism
    • Opinion & Humor
    • Book Reviews
    • Motivation
    • Tips for writers
  • My Poems
  • My Books
    • Forget It
    • To Bee a Honey
    • Now I Want to Remember
    • The Silence We Eat
    • But Here You Are
    • Heartbeat
  • Biography